• 晚上随手翻出来一张Cock Sparrer来听,真是琅琅上口,我一边听边跟着哼哼,Cockney Accent太adorable了。我真喜欢英国朋克,不只是喜欢他们的气质,他们有一种民族自觉感。性手枪一上来就唱“上帝拯救女王”,还有我爱的Pogues,简直是苏格兰民歌的朋克版本。后来的Stiff Little Fingers是北爱尔兰乐队,他们就唱Alternative Belfast.美国朋克也唱肯尼迪和越战什么的,不过感觉还是不一样。Derek Jarman拍个朋克电影,都能联想到五百年前的Elizabeth I,还让Jordan穿着英国国旗装唱Rule Britannia,是伊丽莎白时代的一个诗人写的爱国诗吧。以前喜欢Agyness的时候,收了好多她穿乐队T的街拍,Clash,X-Ray Spex, The Pop Group什么的,都是英国乐队。英国人太喜欢他们的岛了,999甚至唱England Blongs To Me.

     

    This Is England剧照。爱国真是一件纠结的事,不过他们的范儿太“英式”了,英国无产阶级真有钱,都穿Fred Perry和Bensherman,我可买不起。什么Mod,什么Oi!,这种文化都是有context的,中国照搬过来,也唱什么street fighting,有点像梁遇春说的诗人歌唱他们从来没见过的夜莺。

     

  •  

    Advice for a Young Investigator

    by Ramony Cajal, Santiago (1906 Nobel Prize Winner)Cambridge, MA, USA: MIT Press, 1999.

    Chapter 5, Diseases of the Will

    We have all seen teachers who are wonderfully talented and full of energy and initiative—with ample facilities at their disposal—who never produce any original work and almost never write anything. Their students and admirers wait anxiously for the masterpiece worthy of the lofty opinion they have formed of the teacher. But the great work is never written, and the teacher remains silent.Let us not be deceived by optimism and good intentions. Despite their exceptional merit, and the zeal and energy they display in the classroom, such teachers suffer from a disease of the will—although psychologists may not see it this way. Their sluggishness and neglect may not justify a diagnosis of abulia or loss of will power, but their students and friends may nevertheless consider them abnormal and suggest some adequate form of spiritual therapy, with all due respect to their fine intellectual abilities.These illustrious failures may be classified in the following way: the dilettantes or contemplators; the erudite or bibliophiles; the instrument addicts; the megalomaniacs; the misfits; and the theory builders.

    Contemplators
    In this particularly morbid variety we may find astronomers, naturalists, chemists, biologists, and physicians who can be recognized by the following symptom: they love the study of nature but only for its aesthetic qualities—the sublime spectacles, the beautiful forms, the splendid colors, and the graceful structures. If the dilettante is a botanist, he will be anchored forever in the wonder of algae, and especially the diatoms, whose elegant shells capture his admiration. In his fetishistic worship, days pass examining and photographing these interesting creatures in a thousand different ways, arranging them into symbols, fretwork, escutcheons, and other ornamental designs. However, he will never add a new variety to the overflowing catalog of known species, or contribute in the slightest way to our knowledge of the structure, development, and function of these microorganisms.

    If the sybarite researcher is a histologist, he will dedicate himself with zeal to the art of producing flashy staining patterns for cells and organic tissues. He will handle the microinjection syringe with ease, and in his naive admiration for the picturesque he will pass his evenings tracing the elegant little networks that carmine and Prussian blue embroider into the capillaries of the intestines, muscles, and glands. He will have mastered completely the most artistic histological staining techniques without ever feeling the slightest temptation to apply them to a new problem, or to the solution of a hotly contested issue.

    If he is a geologist, he will be completely engrossed in observing the vivid colors produced in sections of rock by polarized light; if a bacteriologist, he will develop a delight in collecting and cultivating the various chromogenic and phosphorescent microbes; and if an astronomer, he will devote his leisure moments to photographing the mountains on the moon or the spots on the sun.

    Why go on? Everyone reading this will recall interesting varieties of this type. They are as likable for their juvenile enthusiasm and piquant and winning speech as they are ineffective in making any real scientific progress.

    Bibliophiles and Polyglots

    Just as the expert in photomicrography amuses himself with diatoms, or the zoologist with insects, shells, and birds of gorgeous plumage, the bibliophile takes pleasure in reading the newest book or monograph that is “highly important and thought-provoking” but that no one else can seem to find a copy of. Our model of erudition uses this strategy in a marvelous way to amaze his friends.

    The symptoms of this disease include encyclopedic tendencies; the mastery of numerous languages, some totally useless; exclusive subscription to highly specialized journals; the acquisition of all the latest books to appear in the bookseller’s showcases; assiduous reading of everything that is important to know, especially when it interests very few; unconquerable laziness where writing is concerned; and an aversion to the seminar and laboratory.

    Naturally, our bookworm lives in and for his library, which is monumental and overflowing. There he receives his following, charming them with pleasant, sparkling, and varied conversation—usually begun with a question something like: “Have you read So-and-so’s book? (An American, German, Russian, or Scandinavian name is inserted here.) Are you acquainted with Such-and such’s surprising theory?” And without listening to the reply, the erudite one expounds with warm eloquence some wild and audacious proposal with no basis in reality and endurable only in the context of a chat about spiritual matters.

    Discussing everything—squandering and misusing their keen intellects—these indolent men of science ignore a very simple and very human fact. They are censured by their own friends, who feel more pity than respect. They seem only vaguely aware at best of the well-known platitude that erudition has very little value when it does not reflect the preparation and results of sustained personal achievement. All of the bibliophile’s fondest hopes are concentrated on projecting an image of genius infused with culture. He never stops to think that only the most inspired effort can liberate the scholar from oblivion and injustice.

    Fortunately, we needn’t dwell at length on this point in order to correct mistaken social values. No one would deny the fact that he who knows and acts is the one who counts, not he who knows and falls asleep. We render a tribute of respect to those who add original work to a library, and withhold it from those who carry a library around in their head. If one is to become a mere phonograph, it is hardly worth the effort of complicating cerebral organization with study and reflection. Our neurons must be used for more substantial things. Not only to know but also to transform knowledge; not only to experience but also to construct—this is the standard for the genuine man of scienceto follow.

    Thus, let us offer tribute and gratitude to those who leave a wake of brilliant observations, and let us forget those who wore themselves out with nothing to show for it but the transformation of their effusive, sonorous words into phonograph records. Like the popular tenor, the eloquent fount of erudition may undoubtedly receive enthusiastic plaudits throughout life in the warm intimacy of social gatherings, but he waits in vain for acclamation from the great theater of the world. The wise man’s public lives far away, or does not yet exist; it reads instead of listens; it is so austere and correct that recognition with gratitude and respect is only extended to new facts that are placed in circulation on the cultural market.

    Megalomaniacs

    People with this type of failure are characterized by noble and winning traits. They study a great deal, but love personal activities as well. They worship action and have mastered the techniques needed for their research. They are filled with sincere patriotism and long for the personal and national fame that comes with admirable conquests.

    Yet their eagerness is rendered sterile by a fatal flaw. While they are conªrmed gradualists in theory, they turn out to rely on luck in practice. As if believing in miracles, they want to start their careers with an extraordinary achievement.

    Perhaps they recall that Hertz, Mayer, Schwann, Roentgen, and Curie began their scientific careers with a great discovery, and aspire to jump from foot soldier to general in their first battle. They end up spending their lives planning and plotting, constructing and correcting, always submerged in feverish activity, always revising, hatching the great embryonic work—the outstanding, sweeping contribution. And, as the years go, by expectation fades, rivals whisper, and friends stretch their imaginations to justify the great man’s silence. Meanwhile, important monographs are raining down abroad on the subjects they have so painstakingly explored, fondled, and worn to a thread. And alas, these monographs rob from our ambitious investigator the cherished goal of priority, forcing him to change course.

    Without losing faith, the megalomaniac takes on another problem, and when he has just about finished the imposing new monument, rivals with scientific contributions extending to the finest detail elicit bitterness again. Finally, he reaches old age amid the indulgent silence of his pupils and ironic smiles of the wise.

    All of this happens because when they started out these men did not follow with humility and modesty a law of nature that is the essence of good sense: Tackle small problems first, so that if success smiles and strength increases one may then undertake the great feats of investigation. This cautious approach may not always lead to fame, but at least it will earn for us the esteem of the learned and the respect and consideration of our colleagues.

    The dreamers who are reminiscent of the conversationalists of old might be seen as a variety of megalomaniac. They are easily distinguished by their effervescence and by a profusion of ideas and plans of attack. Their optimistic eyes see everything through rose-colored glasses. They are confident that, once accepted, fruits of their initiative will open broad horizons in science, and yield invaluable practical results as well. There is only one minor drawback, which is deplorable—none of their undertakings are ever completed. All come to an untimely end, sometimes through lack of resources, and sometimes through lack of a proper environment, but usually because there were not enough able assistants to carry out the great work, or because certain organizations or governments were not sufficiently civilized and enlightened to encourage and fund it.

    The truth is that dreamers do not work hard enough; they lack perseverance. As Gracián has so aptly pointed out in his Oráculo Manual: “Some people spend all at the start and finish nothing; they invent but do not progress; everything stops short of completion… The discerning should kill the prey, not spend all of his energy provoking it.”

    Instrument Addicts

    This rather unimportant variety of ineffectualist can be recognized immediately by a sort of fetishistic worship of research instruments. They are as fascinated by the gleam of metal as the lark is with its own reflection in a mirror. They lovingly care for the objects of their idolatry, which are kept as polished as mirrors and as beautifully displayed as images in a cathedral. Peace and monastic discipline reign in their laboratories, where not a spot is to be found and not the slightest noise is to be heard.

    Keys jangle incessantly in the ample pockets of the instrument addict. When the professor is not around, it is impossible for assistants and students to access essential monographs and pieces of equipment. Microscopes, spectroscopes, analytical balances, reagents—everything is kept under lock and key. All an assistant would have to do to receive a sentence of doom from the chief would be to damage a Zeiss eyepiece, the refractometer, or the polarizing apparatus. It would be horrible! Furthermore, isn’t the instrument addict usually given primary responsibility for laboratory supplies—the inviolable repository of the university?

    Will the time not come for a strict accounting to his superiors? Investigate? Prove? He will do it some day when he has the time—as soon as the latest monographs containing indispensable information arrive and are consulted! If the government should happen to increase his allotment of supplies, perhaps he could give up part of the hallowed trust for teaching purposes. But in the meantime?

    These teachers—and we all remember more than one example—have chosen the wrong profession. They think of themselves as inspiring and zealous officials, when they are in fact simply good housekeepers. Don’t they remind one of those excellent housewives who primly set their front rooms in order, keep the furniture scrupulously arranged, polish the floors daily, and receive their relatives and friends in the dining room to avoid dust and disorder?

    Obviously, cold-hearted instrument addicts cannot make themselves useful. They suffer from an almost incurable disease, especially when it is associated (as it commonly is) with a distinctive moral condition that is rarely admitted—a selfish and disagreeable obsession with preventing others from working because they personally do not know how, or don’t want, to work.

    Misfits

    There would be many fewer examples of a strange contradiction between genuine vocation and official business, between working for pay and scholarly activity, if a professorship were not so often used merely as a steppingstone to politics, or as advertising to help build a lucrative medical practice. Instead, our professorial candidates should be required to present objective (and in a sense, predictive) evidence of aptitude and suitability through competitive examination.

    “One reason for England’s prosperity,” a Cambridge professor once told me, “lies in the fact that each one of us fills our own post.” With certain noble exceptions, the exact opposite occurs in Spain, where many people seem to occupy the same post—not to discharge the responsibilities it carries, but simply to collect the salary, and to enjoy the incidental pleasure of excluding the competent. Who can’t think of generals born to be ordinary government officials or justices of the peace, professors of medicine cultivating literature or archeology, engineers writing melodramas, pathologists dedicated to the science of ethics, and metaphysicians sworn to politics? The result of this situation is that instead of devoting all of our spiritual energy to our official duties, we devote only a small part—and that reluctantly, as if it were a painful duty.

    However, we would certainly not recommend that the life of the professor, or the man of science in general, should be so austere and strict that his entire life is devoted to professional duties. Instead, we would only hope that whatever energy he has left is spent on light, agreeable pastimes—those perfectly legitimate wanderings of attention that are fueled by the intensity and monotony of daily work.

    Some might think that instead of being abnormal, misfits are simply unfortunate individuals who have had work unsuited to their natural aptitudes imposed on them by adverse circumstances. When everything is said and done, however, these failures still fall in the category of abulics because they lack the energy to change their course, and in the end fail to reconcile calling and profession.

    It appears to us that misfits are hopelessly ill. On the other hand, this certainly does not apply to the young men whose course has been swayed by family pressure or the tyrannies of their social environment, and who thus find themselves bound to a line of work by force. With their minds still ºexible, they would do well to change course as soon as favorable winds blow. Even those toiling in a branch of science they do not enjoy—living as if banished from the beloved country of their ideals—can redeem themselves and work productively. They must generate the determination to reach for lofty goals, to seek an agreeable line of work—which suits their talents—that they can do well and to which they can devote a great deal of energy. Is there any branch of science that lacks at least one delightful oasis where one’s intellect can find useful employment and complete satisfaction?

    It appears to us that misfits are hopelessly ill. On the other hand, this certainly does not apply to the young men whose course has been swayed by family pressure or the tyrannies of their social environment, and who thus find themselves bound to a line of work by force. With their minds still ºexible, they would do well to change course as soon as favorable winds blow. Even those toiling in a branch of science they do not enjoy—living as if banished from the beloved country of their ideals—can redeem themselves and work productively. They must generate the determination to reach for lofty goals, to seek an agreeable line of work—which suits their talents—that they can do well and to which they can devote a great deal of energy. Is there any branch of science that lacks at least one delightful oasis where one’s intellect can find useful employment and complete satisfaction?

    Theorists

    There are highly cultivated, wonderfully endowed minds whose wills suffer from a particular form of lethargy, which is all the more serious because it is not apparent to them and is usually not thought of as being particularly important. Its undeniable symptoms include a facility for exposition, a creative and restless imagination, an aversion to the laboratory, and an indomitable dislike for concrete science and seemingly unimportant data. They claim to view things on a grand scale; they live in the clouds. They prefer the book to the monograph, brilliant and audacious hypotheses to classic but sound concepts. When faced with a difficult problem, they feel an irresistible urge to formulate a theory rather than to question nature. As soon as they happen to notice a slight, half-hidden, analogy between two phenomena, or succeed in fitting some new data or other into the framework of a general theory—whether true or false—they dance for joy and genuinely believe that they are the most admirable of reformers. The method is legitimate in principle, but they abuse it by falling into the pit of viewing things from a single perspective. The essential thing for them is the beauty of the concept. It matters very little whether the concept itself is based on thin air, so long as it is beautiful and ingenious, well-thought-out and symmetrical.

    As might be expected, disappointments plague the theorist. Current scientific methods are so inadequate for the generation of theories that even those with true genius need to devote themselves to years of struggle and incessant experimental work. So many apparently immutable doctrines have fallen!

    Basically, the theorist is a lazy person masquerading as a diligent one. He unconsciously obeys the law of minimum effort because it is easier to fashion a theory than to discover a phenomenon.

    Liebig was a good judge of these matters, and he penned some fatherly advice to young Gebhard, a promising chemist who was too inclined toward ambitious synthesis: “Don’t make hypotheses. They will bring the enmity of the wise upon you. Be concerned with the discovery of new facts. They are the only things of merit that no one disregards. They speak highly in our favor, they can be proved by all intelligent men, and they create friends for us and command the attention and respect of our adversaries.”

    There is a great deal of truth in what Liebig wrote. Theories definitely present an exceptional danger to the beginner’s future. To instruct carries with it a certain pedantic arrogance, a certain ºaunting of intellectual superiority that is only pardoned in the savant renowned for a long series of true discoveries. Let us first become useful workmen; we shall see later if it is our fate to become architects.

    The reader may be asking whether or not we are being inconsistent in view of what has already been said about the need for hypotheses. One must distinguish between working hypotheses (Arbeitshypothesen of Weismann) and scientific theories. The hypothesis is an interpretative questioning of nature. It is an integral part of the investigation because it forms the initial phase, the virtually required antecedent. But to speculate continuously—to theorize just for its own sake, without arriving at an objective analysis of phenomena—is to lose oneself in a kind of philosophical idealism without a solid foundation, to turn one’s back on reality.

    Let us emphasize again this obvious conclusion: a scholar’s positive contribution is measured by the sum of the original data that he contributes. Hypotheses come and go but data remain. Theories desert us, while data defend us. They are our true resources, our real estate, and our best pedigree. In the eternal shifting of things, only they will save us from the ravages of time and from the forgetfulness or injustice of men. To risk everything on the success of one idea is to forget that every ªfteen or twenty years theories are replaced or revised. So many apparently conclusive theories in physics, chemistry, geology, and biology have collapsed in the last few decades! On the other hand, the well-established facts of anatomy and physiology and of chemistry and geology, and the laws and equations of astronomy and physics remain—immutable and defying criticism.

    “Give me a fact,” said Carlyle, “and I will prostrate myself before it.”

    In short, the beginner should devote maximal effort to discovering original facts by making precise observations, carrying out useful experiments, and providing accurate descriptions. He will use hypotheses as inspiration during the planning stage of an investigation, and for stimulating new fields of investigation. If, in spite of everything, he feels compelled to create vast scientiªc generalizations, let him do so later on when the abundant observations he has reaped have earned for him a solid reputation. Then and only then will he be listened to with respect and discussed without ridicule. And if fortune smiles, he will someday wear the double crown of investigator and philosopher.

    We have now described the major types of failures, highlighting their ethical weaknesses and intellectual poverty in rather bold colors perhaps. We have done this to put them in front of a mirror where they, along with their students and admirers, can observe their defects. We do realize, though, that our diagnoses will do little if any good for the adult and the callous. Instead, our advice is directed to the young who openly crave prestige, even when based on questionable foundations. But even more so, it is directed to those cultured professors who are capable of producing worthwhile results but, with the discouragements accompanying their work, begin to feel the unhealthy and unpatriotic desire to imitate our fruitless braggarts—whether they have been influenced by poor example or lack inner discipline.

    If none of the advice in this chapter seems to help those for whom it is intended, they should examine their conscience and decide whether or not they would benefit from undergoing a spiritual cure abroad. The laboratory of a scholar is an ideal sanatorium for wandering attention and a faltering will. Here, old prejudices vanish and new contagions that are both enlightening and sublime are contracted.

    Working beside an industrious and gifted scholar, he who is lacking in will power can receive the baptism of fire in research. In such a laboratory he will observe with commendable envy the fervent ambition to wrest secrets from the unknown; he will absorb the unrelenting scorn toward vain theories and rhetorical discourse; and finally, on foreign soil, he will experience the rebirth of a growing patriotism.

    And once started down the road of his own work, he now has a store of respectable discoveries to his credit. Back in his native country, he will have learned how to focus his interests, and will now look with disdain—if not pity—on his old idols.

    Note: We know some who are not content with locking the cabinets in their laboratories; they padlock and seal them before leaving.
  • 21

    Tag:
    时间啊!它有时候像抢了Herculus新娘的centaur一样狂奔,有时就像鼻涕虫一样地慢慢爬;它是一只坏了的钟表,时走时停,时快时慢,一根绳索套在我脖子上,把我拴在它的秒针上。我的生命是一支两头燃烧的蜡烛,我的血渐渐要烧干。出去吃饭,席间说笑,喝酒,却没什么感觉,我是L'étrangère;躺下来试着做个梦,杂念就像地狱的恶犬,狺狺追在我后面。无梦醒来,天已黑,我的生日就要过完,我悲从中来,想揪住时间的衣领质问我的青春哪里去了!宿舍一派凄凉,节日气氛丝毫也无,更兼凌乱简陋得不堪。我二十一了,我的心就像八十一;生活让我厌倦,没什么能提起我的兴趣,没什么东西能让我好奇。我是一只里面烂成灰渣的苹果。同时我什么都想知道,我想飞进太阳。如果我是一只与天同高的长颈鹿,伸着脖子去嚼云彩,又能怎样?久了,云彩的味道也会让我厌烦吧?看那只黑猫,生命之谜是什么?基督教说猫没有灵魂,它知道吗?生命逐渐凝固,这世界于我失去了神秘的美感,却又变得清晰。我的青春不快乐,甚至都不残酷;我讨厌一切具体的事,在我的脑海中,只有一些丑陋的回忆。我的青春本来不该是这样的,我本来不该是这样的;本来又应该是什么样的?生命对于我来说是负担,THE BURTHEN OF THE MYSTERY如泰山压顶;我但愿我回到无知无识,昏迷不醒的时候,可是如今我已走完了生命的四分之一的路程,前途未卜,只好硬着头皮走下去。在我思绪纷杂,百忧无解的时候,与其对着无限嚎叫,不如去品味当下,狠狠地咂它的滋味。
  • 失眠

    Tag:

    带着一脑子CFR,FOB,CFI爬上床,又睡不着了。两点多直直地从床上坐起来,四句话突然同时奔赴胸中,如地狱的四条河:

    Of man's first disobedience...

    I sing of arms and man...

    The anger of Achilles...

    Midway the path of life... 

    Well,这四句话就像四只钉子,fixe moi mourant aux quatre coins de la croix...

     

  • 这两天头痛欲裂,看不进去书,整天躺在床上听歌,把电脑里的音乐又整理了一遍(工程浩大啊),删了好多。想起来什么音乐就找出来听。刚找到一张勃拉姆斯的德意志安魂曲,太有意思了,想起来高三的时候买的打口带,勃拉姆斯的第一和第二交响曲,那时是我的最爱。我在卓越上订了两张合唱,希望圣诞前能送到,否则我就只好听Jesu, Joy of Man's desiring庆祝圣诞了。这个曲子我以前常听钢琴版的,今天在电脑里发现了合唱版,真美。还找到了O Fortuna, 以前听过是Therion唱的。还找到了一个无名文件夹,很美的女声,像是新古典,但是比新古典那些乐队强多了,我很好奇这到底是什么。还有马勒的交响乐,我只有第1,2,5,6,8,9,第八号千人交响乐还是拿的一个同学的切口盘,第二张都读不了。今天一起来就从第一交响乐听起。这种久别重逢的感觉太新鲜了,我边听边回忆以前为什么喜欢马勒。如今我的气质最合18世纪以前的音乐。我如今对古典音乐几乎一无所知,毫无鉴赏力,我奇怪自己怎么听了那么多的proto punk, punk, post punk, new wave和power pop.明天开始结束这种life in death的状态,别抱怨了,努力学习吧。
  • 我们要写论文,我突发奇想想写Yeats。我想讨论他诗中关于年老和智慧的主题,which是我的teenage obession的投射。不过我对Yeats毫无研究,不会写,估计就最后就讨论个被人讨论烂了的拜占庭之类的糊弄事儿。

    TOM O'ROUGHLEY

    'THOUGH logic-choppers rule the town,
    And every man and maid and boy
    Has marked a distant object down,
    An aimless joy is a pure joy,'
    Or so did Tom O'Roughley say
    That saw the surges running by.
    'And wisdom is a butterfly
    And not a gloomy bird of prey.

    'If little planned is little sinned
    But little need the grave distress.
    What's dying but a second wind?
    How but in zig-zag wantonness
    Could trumpeter Michael be so brave?'
    Or something of that sort he said,
    'And if my dearest friend were dead
    I'd dance a measure on his grave.

     Coming Of Wisdom With Time

    Though leaves are many,the root is one;

    Through all thew lying days of youth

    I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;

    Now I may wither into the truth.

         在我青春说谎的日子里
      
      我在阳光下招摇
      
      如今我已萎缩成真理


        Youth And Age 


      Much did I rage when young,
      Being by the world oppressed,
      But now with flattering tongue
     It speeds the parting guest.

    After Long Silence

    Speech after long silence; it is right;

    All other lovers being estranged or dead,

    Unfriendly lamplight hid under its shade,

    The curtains drawn upon unfriendly night'

    That we descant and yet again descant

    Upon the supreme theme of Art and Song:

    Bodily decrepitude is wisdom; young

    We loved each other and were ignorant.

  • 1. The Germs- Forming 1

    2.The Velvet Underground-Venus in Furs

    3. Brian Eno-Burning Airlines Gives you So Much More

    4. Blur-Clover Over Dover

    5. Shudder to think- Hot One

    6. Kraftwerk- The Model

    7. Iggy Pop- I wanna be your dog

    8. The Ventures- Walk Don't Run

    9. The Germs- Forming 2

    我今天听到了The Screamers版的Louie Louie, 叫Johnny Johnny.又一个70末的LA小乐队,没玩两下就散了。

  •    贝尔尼尼的雕塑,巴赫的音乐,多恩的诗——巴洛克!我该怎样形容Bach的Toccata and Fugue in D minor?天使提着金色的箭,一次次地刺穿我的心!巨大的激情,终却凝结为平静和庄严。Chopin太pretty,如绣户静女,Wagner是女武神,虽美却算pagan,而Bach——是圣母!以前口味重,很少听钢琴曲,现在觉得Mozart 的交响“too many notes”,而Bach的平均律heal my scars.大一时看The Silence of The Lamb,听到里面的Goldberg Variation,简直要引这个变态老医生为知音了。冷酷的理智,却没有正常的情感。读西方的思想史,常常看见reason一词。西方人常常探求机械理性,而忘了世道人心。Hannibal Lecter是个变态, Arnold所谓barbarian.虽然风度翩翩,但其culture都是外在的。Russell在西哲史里写到Henry James,说他是绅士,他说魔鬼也可能以绅士的形象出现,但上帝不是绅士。我不喜欢那个老上帝,我想他是一个暴脾气的白发老头,骑在乌云上,胡须飘飘,和Blake画的一样。我喜欢那个加利利人,虽然他太瘦了。